A Profound Influence

Can anyone truly understand what a profound influence that someone can make on their life?  Today, I lost someone that I loved.  Now, it wasn't someone that I was close to.  It wasn't someone that I even had contact with.  This person was a part of my life as a child.  I'm pretty sure that most people may not be able to fully understand why this loss has impacted me so much.  This person represented a role in my life that has never really been truly filled.  I guess it just makes the finality of it all the more painful.  Today, I lost the only father figure that I knew.  He was not a perfect person and had his faults just like you and I.  But, he had a heart of gold.  He may not have known how to share this with others, but I saw it masked behind so many things.  It was there.  Sometimes, we become so lost in our pain that we can't find our way out and we do the best that we can to learn how to cope with our circumstances.

The memories that I have during this 9-10 year stretch of my childhood began in the late 70s.  Those memories have filled my head for many years.  Over the last few days, as I learned of his declining health, the memories began to flood into my mind.....like an overflowing well.  During those years, we enjoyed camping, hiking, boating, swimming, four wheeling, and Pismo Beach sand dunning.  There was drama as I'm sure there is in many homes, but that isn't the memory that I carry with me.  I have so many memories that I will treasure always from my childhood.

In the last year, God brought his daughter back into my life after nearly 20 years without contact.  It has been amazing getting to know her after all these years, since we had all the time that we enjoyed during the summers as kids.  We had so much fun riding all over the neighborhood on our bikes.  We had so much fun growing up together!  We formed a bond as sisters, all of those years ago.  I have really enjoying getting to know her more over the last few months.  I honestly feel so blessed to have her back in my life.  She is that sister that God never gave me!  I pray that the closing of this chapter and the memory of her father may bring us to a place of joy and love!  What is in the heart is what truly matters!  God blessings to All!