DEPLOYMENT...From a Soldier's Eyes

This story is a tribute to my husband, who is my hero in so many ways.  A loving father, husband and man of God.....he wrote this for a speech class.  Last Thursday, his professor mentioned speaking about something that they could easily talk about any time.  When he spoke with his professor, this was the example that was close to his heart. This is the speech that he chose last Thursday.  He wrote this on Monday, before he found out on Tuesday that he would indeed be deploying in just a few days.  His class was supposed to take place tonight, but instead he will be on a plane shipping out to go help fight for our freedom.  May God bless all those soldiers who are away from their families!!!

     A military deployment is commonly associated solely around the military member. The orders, training, family readiness, the deployment, the pictures on TV, and then the homecoming. What is commonly forgotten is the family at home and those who help.

     Every deployment begins with goodbyes. With every goodbye come tears. With every goodbye comes a child refusing to let go of the departing soldier. With every goodbye comes uncertainty. With every goodbye a parent becomes a single parent. With every goodbye comes the not knowing when you will hear from the departing soldier again.

     Deployments help bring out the Body of Christ, surrounding the family, to life. The Body of Christ consists of:  The mother of seven willingly takes on four more children to give the spouse time to recharge and relax.  The couple that willingly offers to take the kids one Sunday afternoon, to help them make Mother’s Day special for the spouse left behind. Or the group of gentlemen who after a long distance phone call, dropped what they were doing and came to the aid of the family left behind. The main source of transportation had developed a serious problem. The group of gentlemen came, picked up the vehicle, repaired it, and delivered it back to the family refusing payment for the parts or labor. What about the neighbor, without being asked, who stepped into the father role and taught the children how to properly use the lawnmower. Then, there are the two couples that graciously agreed to step in, at a moment’s notice, in the event of an emergency and care for the children, until the soldier could come home. Don’t forget the retired soldier who recognized the need of the small child, multiple times at church. The retired soldier picked up the child, held the child, and comforted the child like a father would. The young child when asked why he wanted the retired soldier to hold him, just simply said he wanted a dad like person. 

     Deployments do not end when the soldier comes home. There is the awkward readjustment time that follows every deployment. The soldier simply can’t walk back into the family life and pick up where they left off. That single parent becomes a dual parent, as quickly as they became a single parent. Small children are sometimes scared and afraid, especially if the soldier has been gone for a long time. You see, the family is accustomed to operating without the soldier, and the soldier might have a hard time finding their place fitting back into the family.      

     This story and similar ones like it are played out every day, some where in the military world. Deployments are much more than simply the soldier leaving. Deployments are about families helping other families and carrying the burden of life, so that while the soldier is away protecting our great nation he doesn’t have to worry about his family too.

Thank you to the many families who have been faithful in blessing our family over the last 15 years.  You will never know how much your love and dedication to supporting us has meant to each of us.  God bless each and everyone of you!!!  

In His Presence

Have you ever sat and wondered what God sounds like?  Over the last few months, I have learned that many things in my life remind me of God.

As a quiet breeze blows through the cold night air, I sense His presence.  As I sit in my bedroom at night, when everyone is fast asleep....it is there He is listening and waiting.  There are so many places that we can find Him, if we just stop to seek Him.  I wrote a song last fall, when my life took a very different turn that I was just blown away by.  This was the fourth song that I have written, but this song is so different than the others.  I believe this song marks a time in my life......when I was in such awe of what God can do when we are obedient.  I wrote the lyrics in about ten minutes and immediately went to my keyboard and played the tune.  It was a totally God inspired song, which I have named, "In His Presence".  I haven't recorded it yet, I will try to do that soon.  

Although, I was in such an amazed place....it was also the start of a journey to healing for my body.  Shortly before this day, I began breaking out with eczema which itched so intensely some days.....that I wanted to scratch until I bled....and some days, I did just that.  It has been a process of discovery, but the eczema on my body has basically disappeared.  I am however dealing with a new issue, which I can't hide....which I was able to do with the eczema on my body.  I am the process of detoxing my liver.  Through this process I now have a detox rash that is covering the majority of my face and neck.  It was nearly gone until the last few days.  For a moment today, I wanted to believe that everything was normal and I could have sugar again.  Today, I ate a peppermint candy as a breath mint, this was the worst idea ever.  It only contained two things....peppermint oil and sugar.  Unfortunately, I am now completely inflamed again on my face and neck.  What was mostly gone....is now back times ten.  Not only does this rash look quite lovely, but it also itches and hurts.     

The last few months have been a quiet reflective time, in my life.  So many times in our life we spend busy running around with schedules that we just can't keep up with....let alone embrace.  God has taken this time in my life to slow me down....to a crawl!  Not only have I slowed way down, but I feel even more reflective than I have in years.

Looking through some of my old posts, I discovered a post from about a month ago in which, I was feeling totally overwhelmed.  I also discovered that I never posted it.  I wonder why I never posted about feeling overwhelmed???     

Presently however, I am feeling as though I am supposed to keep things in my life simple....  By simple, I mean that my priorities must be God, my family & friends and myself.  I must continue with the tasks that God has prepared me for.  I often find myself wondering if previous commitments are supposed to be broken, but God continues to smooth out all of the rough edges.  I love that God is in complete control of what is going on in my life.  I am able to see His hand in everything that is taking place.  Sometimes, I just wish God would make things happen a little faster in my life(on my schedule).  I know that God's timing is always perfect, but it is so hard to wait for his timing sometimes.  I also know that as long as I stay in His presence, He will continue to work on changing me into the person that He desires me to be and my life into what he wants for me.

Thank you Jesus, for loving me so much that you won't ever leave my side....even when I try so desperately to do things my own way.  

All Things are Possible with God....

Fourteen years ago today(September 7th), I married my best friend....the most amazing husband and father that a girl could ever hope for!  I never would have imagined that I would feel this way three years ago.  I never would have imagined that I would be even more in love with my husband today, than I ever was before. 

My Best Friend

Nearly fifteen years ago, I met my husband in a bar.  Of all places to meet someone, I would have never dreamed this would be the meeting place of my future husband.  The evening that we met, was not unlike many other evenings that I had spent at The Jukebox.  It was a place that I loved to go line dancing.  I generally went by myself, because all of my friends had to work early in the morning.  At that time in my life, I was a medical assistant and my shift was 10AM-7PM.  I really loved this shift, because I was able to sleep in.  On October 22nd, I was persuaded by my roommate to go line dancing.  I was feeling rather down in the dumps that day, and she knew that it would cheer me up.  After being there for a little while, I looked over and noticed a gentleman standing next to me.  Soon after that, we began talking.  After talking for a little bit, we danced to the song, "One Boy, One Girl"  by Colin Raye.  As the evening came to a close, we went our separate ways, but the night would forever be imprinted in our hearts.  Within a week, we had both told people that we loved that we had met the person we would marry.  Within 11 months, we were married.  

It wasn't until years later, that I discovered that Chance only went out that evening to be the designated driver.  He really didn't want to go out either, but was also persuaded by a friend.  It was this persuasion by our close friends that brought us together that special night.     

Our journey over the last fifteen years has been amazing.  We have had some really great times and some times that have left a lot to be desired.  We have made it through these last fifteen years, because of the faith that we had in Jesus.   

In 1995, when we first me we lived in California near my family.  At that time, Chance was still active duty in the Air Force at Beale AFB.  In 1997, while we were still living on base,Taylor was born.  When Taylor was just a little over 2 months old, Chance finished his enlisted time and we moved to Knoxville, Tennessee to be near Chance's father.  While in Tennessee, we ended up with our own Construction business.  We did this for a few years.  In the summer of 1999, Audrianna was born in Knoxville.  After a few years in construction, we decided to leave TN.  In 2000, we moved here to Illinois to settle near some of Chance's family.  He became part of the Air National Guard.  After being in Illinois for only a year or so, we received news about Chance having a daughter named, Sydney.  This was at the end of 2001.  At that time, Sydney was 6 years old.  Shortly after we met her in 2002, Sydney came and lived with us and has been with us ever since.  In 2003, Chance got orders to leave for a year and only ended up being gone for 3 months.  Shortly after he returned, I became pregnant with Jaden, who was born in 2004 in Effingham, IL.  In the month of September 2006, I was able to adopt Sydney and she became my daughter.  In May of 2007, we took Jaden to Los Angeles to have a new ear made.  When Jaden was born, he was born with only an earlobe on one side.  He has a condition called hemifacial-microsomia, which caused this.  He has no canal, but after his surgery he has a beautiful ear.  It is a prosthetic ear, but it has been a blessing.  In May of 2008, we went back for one more surgery to finish up the cosmetic part of his ear.     

God has blessed us so richly with all of our children.  Taylor was our first child and what a blessing that he has been in our lives.  Taylor has such a great sense of humor and works so hard at always trying to make others laugh and to please them.  He has the desire and ability to learn that are simply amazing.  Audrianna was our first daughter and a joy to be blessed with.  Audrianna has a love for life that is simply contagious.  She is a very creative young lady that could make something out of nothing.  Her imagination is so endless that you don't ever have to worry about her being bored, because she is able to always find something to do.  Sydney is our oldest daughter, but our third child.  She has been such an endless gift, since the day that she walked into our lives.  Her love for the Lord and her care and compassion for other people's feelings is truly uplifting.  She is always thinking of others and putting them first.  She is truly wise for such a young lady and has a servant's heart.  Jaden is our youngest son and the last born.  Jaden has only normal hearing out of one ear.  I would have assumed this would keep him from learning as a normal 6-year old.  This has been completely untrue.  Not only has continued to learn at a normal rate, but he has exceeded standards for his age.  His capacity and ability to learn is beyond anything I could have hoped for.  His ability to understand the Bible has totally amazed all of us.  God is so good! 

This evening, my beautiful children decided that Chance and I were going to have a candlelight dinner.  They set up a table downstairs and had the regular table set for the two of us upstairs.  Chance and I were told to get all dressed up.  The kids dressed up as waiters and had a CD player set up with the first song that we ever danced to playing quietly over and over again.  We all had steak, baked potatoes and broccoli.  We had a very nice evening!  

Table set for 2--Kids in waiter outfits

Fifteen years have gone by in the blink of an eye, but they have been filled with memories that I will never forget.  Some of these memories were good and some were less desirable.  The one thing that has been constant throughout these 15 years, was Jesus!  He is the one thing that hasn't ever changed.  Even when things were really bad between us a few years ago, He was there helping us work through things.  We made it through and our relationship is stronger for all of the struggles that we have had.  I am looking forward to the next 15 years.  I hope that we make it at least to 68 years, like my amazing Grandparents!

Grandmother & Grandpappy---68 Years Together (June 2010)

 

May God bless all of your relationships!  And remember ANYTHING is possible with God!             

Hidden in My Heart

As God continues to reveal pieces of my life, I continue to become aware of the feelings that I have never dealt with.  In order to move forward with my life and the purpose that God has for me here, I must deal with the past and determine what my feelings were and what they are now.  Those feelings that I thought would just fade away, over 20 years later they are still the same.  I guess that I never realized what a huge place in my heart that I held for Bob, who recently passed away.  As a child, Bob was the one that showed me what love from a father looks like.  This love looks very different to everyone, but his example was the best representation of fatherly love, that I have received.    

I recently looked through pictures from those years.  As I looked through the pictures, the feelings came flooding back again....in ways that I never dreamed possible.  I will forever cherish this time in my life that was filled with so many happy memories.  I remember exactly how I felt back then.  I felt loved!  I never questioned it.  I didn't have a reason to, because it was obvious.  I saw the love that was shared, even through the drama.  Then one day, it ended.  No looking back.  No good-byes.  Nothing, no more, done.  So I shoved all of those lovely feelings down and I forgot about them over time.  Time and other wounds covered up my true feelings, which I had hidden in my heart.    

I began my own life only a few years after all of this took place.  I moved out when I was seventeen.  I was young & very strong-willed, I needed peace and I didn't have it where I was.  I don't think that I found it right away, because I went searching for love in all the wrong places.  I spent many years making bad choices and going down the wrong path.  I wanted that love back.  I didn't know how to get it back, but I was determined.  

Until one day, I met my husband, Chance.  He was the most amazing person I had ever met.  There was something magical between us.  He filled my heart with what I had been longing for, for so many years.  We both had the same desire and that was to be loved and we found that in each other.  It has been six long weeks, since I have seen my amazing husband.  I really believe that absence does make the heart grow fonder.  I miss him so terribly!  Tomorrow he returns...and I can't wait!   


Over the last year, God has really been working on healing my heart.  I can't really explain how unbelievable this all seems to me.  The thing is....it is very real!  God wants me healed of all of these wounds that I have...and there are so many!  I really can't begin to imagine what is coming next.  All of the things that continue being revealed are things that I didn't even realize had caused me pain.  I would like to say that I am enjoying this journey, but that would be an understatement.  I am not driving, so I guess....I'm just along for the ride.  I am hoping eventually the road will get less bumpy, but I'm afraid that there will be a lot more before it is over.  Thank you, Jesus for working on healing my broken wings....I can't wait to be able to fly again!