Who are you listening to?

In the past two weeks, I have come to the conclusion that I am entirely too hard on myself.  It didn't really hit me until the other day, during my bible study when a verse in Galatians was mentioned.  The verse is from Galatians 1:10 says, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."  This verse speaks such huge volumes to me at this point in my life.  Who am I really here to serve?  Is my true purpose to please everyone around me, so that I can fit in?  It is funny that my words to my children keep ringing so loudly in my ears right now.  We are not here to fit in.  We are here to be different and to stand out, because that is what we are called to do.  I have told my children this over and over, but why am I now trying to do something different.  Fitting in is nice and maybe even comfortable, if you want to call it that.  The problem is that we can't achieve the true purpose that God has called us for.....if we aren't willing to stand out and be different.  

The two weeks before my hubby left were pretty rough for me personally.  I believe that I brought most of it on myself though.  I felt so pressured to try and get so much stuff done, but in reality.....I didn't get hardly anything done!  It is amazing to me how when things get so crazy, instead of clinging to HIM, we just try to do it on our own.  You would think that I would have learned that already.  I guess not!

God has really been working on me lately.  He is teaching me to be patient and wait on HIM.  

Why am I in such a hurry to start our school for the year?  Maybe it is because I am truly excited and I am hoping to learn something that I didn't as a child.  History and Science were not things that I was very good at, but I believe a lot of this was because of traditional schooling....for which I just don't fit.  I am learning so much, while learning what would work best for my children and their education.  It is amazing to me how I continue to discover more and more about myself as I research & contemplate what will work best for keeping that desire to learn in my children.  One of the greatest things about homeschooling is that it becomes a life style.  Homeschooling is not a class you take or a  textbook you read.  It can be, but that is not what I desire it to be.  I desire for them to want to know more about things that we come across in our daily lives, which is what learning is all about.  We are going to be doing a whole lot of reading this year.  I am looking forward to that time together.  

I am also hoping that I will learn to wait for your call, Lord....every time.  I know only you know what is best for me and for my family.  Please give me the courage to be patient and listen for your call.

While You Were Sleeping

Have you ever been hit so hard by a song that you just don't quite understand why the impact is so great? This happened to me nearly two months ago. Last winter after Christmas, I went into the Christian bookstore in town to get a gift for someone. While I was browsing, I came across two Christmas CDs on clearance, of two of my favorite artists: Casting Crowns and BarlowGirl. So, I purchased both of them. I never even opened the CDs until around Thanksgiving time this year. While we were decorating the tree this year, we were playing our new and old Christmas music. We have done this for years, so it was nothing new to anyone. After a little while, this song comes on the stereo, that I haven't ever heard. I don't know what it was about the tune, but I was automatically drawn to the piano. So, I sat down and starting playing some of the chords. This is something that I never do, without printed chords. Something about it just drew me in. Over the next few weeks, we as a family began to listen to this CD a great deal. I am not sure what it is about this song, but our family seems to love this song(maybe because when we like songs we play them over and over). We did listen to the song on our trip to and from California over and over....along with the whole Cd. I'm sure by now, you are all wondering what in the world this song could be.

First, I would like to paint the picture of the time when this song takes place. It takes place in a tiny town that is very quiet and dark, but a bright star is shining in the sky. This song is of Bethlehem. But this song is so much more than that. It is about us as a nation, not paying attention and going on with life. And all the while Jesus comes back and we miss it, because we are too wrapped up in our own stuff to pay attention. The whole idea behind this song is amazing to me! This song is a constant reminder to me that we are to be the salt and light of the world, and not try to fit in and be like the world. We are to be different. Different doesn't need to be bad. And we aren't necessarily supposed to be comfortable. We are supposed to be uncomfortable for Jesus! After all, He was uncomfortable for us when He died for us.

Are you walking through your life at such a fast pace that you are missing all the little things that are happening around you? Are you cherishing each moment with those you love? Or are you so busy that you don't know which way you are going? Do you ever stop and just listen, or do you have noise going on constantly? It is hard to hear what He might be telling you, if you never have any quiet time. This reminds me of something that a friend pointed out tonight. A friend was commenting on how she never uses her good silverware, because it is special. Then, she went on to ask, "when are we special enough to use our special silverware?" What happens if we never use it? Is it really even worth having it, if it just sits in the cupboard?

I believe that now is the perfect time to mend those relationships that have been broken or strained. Sit down and write that letter that you have been meaning to write. Call an old friend and visit for a few hours. Why wait for tomorrow, what is wrong with today? Why get stuck in that rut, when you could change someone's life today? Is the pain of losing someone really better than trying to communicate through the problems and work through it? What will you choose?

The last six months have definitely been my wake up call. I have been so blessed beyond measure by bringing my children home to be schooled. You know when you make such a huge choice, sometimes you battle yourself. I have had to complete let go of control of the things that I can't change. I know that I am only a keeper of my children. God is their father and He is the one in charge. Bringing them home and letting God show me slowly what I am to be doing and not having it all laid out hasn't been easy. But the peace that I am getting, is far better than any plan I could have come up with.

I spent the past two years before that trying to change my future into what I thought it was supposed to be. I did consult God, but He kept changing things the whole time I was in school. Then when He suddenly told me to come home and bring my youngest daughter home.....without a second thought, I said okay. Okay, I did struggle for 24hrs or so, but that is exactly what I did. It isn't that I wasn't supposed to be in school, but the time wasn't right. God has already shown me some of the benefits and reasons for my partial education. Maybe part of it was just to reinforce in me, that love of learning that I already had. Someday, God willing...I will get a degree. I know that God is constantly changing our path and it may seem that one direction is the right way, when all of a sudden you make a U-turn and then you are back where you started. Maybe this is because you were on the right path and YOU chose to change it, not God....or maybe that is just my way of looking at it. Who knows? I know that all paths are bumpy and nobody gets a smooth straight road. So, when your road is bumpy or curved....just remember it will get better eventually!

I am going to include the song from YouTube. The song was written by Casting Crowns and is on their Peace on Earth CD. The name of the song is, "While You Were Sleeping". This song has been so heavy on my heart for two months...so I knew it was time that I posted something.

I pray that this song will touch your heart in the same way that it has touched mine! May God add His richest blessings to each and everyone of your lives!